So you’ve decided to pursue counseling or coaching, that’s great!
You are about to embark on an incredible journey of self-discovery and growth. Wondering how to choose the right counselor for you? Most of us offer a free consultation ~ please take us up on it! Finding the right person for you is worth taking the time to explore.
Choosing the right counselor or coach is such an important topic and one I don’t see being discussed nearly enough! Every single person I talk to gets this little talk about how to choose the right person for you. As a professional, I always ask clients if they have had counseling or coaching before. I often hear that they gave it a try, the professional seemed kind enough, it didn’t really work, so they stopped going and concluded that counseling just doesn’t work. AND I WANT TO FREAK OUT. Not on the client, but on the fact that the client did not get educated about how to choose the right person for them. I don’t actually freak out. Instead, I give the talk you see here over and over and over again. And I’ll keep giving it. Until everyone hears it ~ help me out and share this, ok?
As a client (yes, as a client ~ I can do this every day for the past 20 years and when my life gets a little ~or a lot~ crazy, I go get counseling or coaching). I have been there. My first counselor and I were not a good match. And it was kind of awful actually. I didn’t feel like I could really open up and bear my soul to her. AND I ASSUMED IT WAS MY FAULT. In my 20’s at the time, I pretty much assumed anything that wasn’t going well was my fault, it’s an HSP thing.
If only this professional had asked me to honor my vibes.
I wish she had told me that the reason the therapeutic process works so well is the therapeutic connection. And the therapeutic connection was really just about how well we “clicked.” And that if we didn’t click it wasn’t either of our faults, we just needed to get me to one of her friends that I did click with. It doesn’t mean she wasn’t a great therapist or a good person, she just wasn’t MY PERSON.
Because when it IS your person ~ it’s MAGIC.
The process of talking through your challenges with someone who gets you and is skilled in helping you explore yourself and your inner world is such a gift.
So, if you are interested, here is the more extended version of what I have to say about this topic. The top video is about a minute long and the bottom video is just over six minutes. And if you want it live, please reach out ~ I’m happy to talk about this. My mission is to educate everyone on this topic, so help me out and share it with a friend!
Dear Jen, I think your offering is very generous, you are offering to educate others about how to find the right person and you are willing to offer a free consult, let the person decide for themselves, I feel like you are looking straight to me, speak not from a stand point of a professional only but also as a human being.
Thank you, Dear One! Yes! I often say I am human first, professional second. We are all in this together and although I have lots of skills and have spent many years studying this stuff ~ I am human first and my clients can count on that human connection! ❤️❤️
I love this topic, in therapy as well as, in all relationships. The vibe has to be right. As a 45 year old woman, I have learned that the older I get the less interested I am in prolonging uncomfortable relationships. As a younger woman, I too blamed myself and suffered in silence assuming I was either unlovable or incapable of loving.
It is the beauty of my older perspective.
I love your words, Jenn. I would love to see you more during my day😀
Thank you, Amy! Yes, this is so important for all relationships. I remember our 20-year-old selves! I wish we could somehow let them know that it wasn’t their fault ~ hopefully, we can pass this one to our kids so they won’t have to doubt their vibes so much. Much love to you my dear!
Hi Jen,
It really seems like your passion is in educating and enlightening people as much as possible through your work. I could hear that care coming through in every thoughtful word and your face was just so filled with love and light. As someone who has received a lot of counseling over the years, I can attest to the need to find the right person, for the “magic” to happen. It’s really about finding the right relationship where I can feel safe to be vulnerable. And for me, having a feeling of unconditional acceptance is a huge part of this. Thank you for your time, your passion and I hope many people take advantage of this offering. Much LOVE to you!
Hi Karin! Thank you so much for adding your voice to the conversation! I feel like the more people know and trust this, the more effective and helpful ALL the helping fields can be ~ I agree that unconditional love and acceptance is a big part of this. While I have studied many approaches and techniques I go deep with the ones that explicitly stress this like Humanistic, Acceptance and Commitment Approaches, Mindfulness, Self-compassion, and Internal Family Systems. Big Love to you too Dear One!
Thank you for so generously speaking to this. I was incredibly lucky to have found the perfect person my first time out – and it was literally luck of the draw. Subsequent connections weren’t right, and I never realized that I could express that, and look for someone else. We’re so socialized to listen to the authority figure unquestioningly, especially folks from my generation (I’m 57.)